Sunday, January 18, 2015

Got That Wintertime Sadness...

I wrote a post a little while ago saying how much I have been anticipating this winter. Last winter for me was a difficult experience. 
People underestimate the power of dealing with depression. I don't know if you're someone who has experienced depression before, but I want to let you know that it is in no means something that should be a concept tossed over the shoulder. 

I was to the state of being bedridden for two weeks. I ate nothing, really. I stopped drinking as much water as I normally did. I couldn't move. The thought of dragging myself up and putting on clothes and makeup for the day, made me cry. I couldn't get past myself. My mind. 
I lost weight, I lost hope. I thought I had lost everything. My health, soul, and spirit were wasting away.

The worst part of all is the glorification of sadness. I was stuck for so long because I felt like I had no reason to swim to the surface of the ocean of grief. I had no will to do anything but sink deeper where no one could see me and I could dwell alone forever. I was becoming addicted to my sadness.

I needed a hand to grasp onto. Because, I knew that I could not pull myself up on my own. I was too far down at that point. I believe that it was a combination of hands. I say goodbye to a few things that I loved at the time, dropped a couple unhealthy friend relationships, and decided to seek wisdom from my parents, my Godly friends, and Jesus' Word Itself. 

Recently, I have been able to be out and about--Taking pictures of the winter. I have changed so much since the "Great Depression" of last year. I can only attribute my wellness to God. I'd still be lost in the darkness without Him. 

God Bless, 

         ~Sayda <3