A Discouraging Realization

So, I was back in the hospital today getting some tests done. It's always a reminder to me every time I go to an appointment--just the realization that I have an incurable illness. It's frustrating at times; it's difficult, and I don't always understand why God did this to me, but I have to trust that He will bring beauty from these ashes. And it's hard not to get wrapped in yourself throughout it.

Daily, I wonder why I was chosen to live this life of struggle, but, I know that God has a reason for all He does in each and every life. Sometimes, we get lost in our pain; sometimes we can't seem to find our way out of the darkness we dwell in--but, we must remember that God works all things out for the good of those who love Him. I must wait on Jesus to heal me. If not in this life, another place awaits me. A place with no more suffering, no more tears. I long for that day where the pain vanishes from my body and my life begins again. Brand new. I know my days are numbered. Now I wait.

My primary purpose on this earth is to Glorify God and enjoy HIM forever. <3

-Sayda