Depression: A Raw Reality

Deep Breaths. 

Depression is not easily discussed. 

For a valid reason, too.

In short: depression is rough, man. So very rough.

It is the absence of joy. Of peace.

I've always had a way with words. I love to chat, explain, answer, write. 

But when it comes to this subject... I blank. 

How to formulate this feeling into words is beyond me. 

Okay. Blank canvas. Paints & brushes. Let me illustrate a picture for you, friends. 

You are alone. 

In a low-lit room. 

There is a door. 

Depression is on the other side. 

He's faintly knocking. 

The question you have to face each morning when you wake: will you let him in today? 

Of course not. Why would you? 

Because... He's familiar. He's inviting.

Despite loathing a depressive mind, Depression itself is familiar and "safe" to me.

He is welcoming and warm.

But deep down inside I know that it's hurting me. He's haunting me.

Yet I cling to my sadness rather than facing my problems. 

It's easier. 

It's easier to dwell than to fight. 

Here's the deal, Love. 

We need to battle against the thoughts that plague our minds. 

But the strength we need does not come from ourselves. 

It is a strength only found in the One who created us. 

The Lord knows us. 

He knows our ways, our thoughts, our tendencies. 

He knows that I struggle from suffocating depression.

He knows that I answer the door to my grief.  

But. I have to choose to be thankful for my portion. 

My flesh is restless in this life--but I need to choose to rest in His peace & grace. 

When you can't breathe... when life is a burden on your shoulders--lay down your sorrows, cast those anxieties. HE WILL SUSTAIN YOU. 

So praise the Lord today. 

For He is so, so good to us. 

Remember these words.

Choose joy. 

It's so worth it. 

~Sayda